The illuminated word project | February

A few weeks ago I was sitting in our strengthening marriage class at church when something struck me much like a lightning bolt hits a tree and sets a forest on fire. We were discussing how marriages are made up of 2 different and separate entities, but equal. I thought about this a lot, thinking that I was greater than Mike in a few areas and lesser than him in others. How were we equals?

Equal in purpose and standing in God’s love, but not in abilities, talents, roles or habits.

It occurred to me that marriage is a lot like photography. When I am photographing I use both my hands to capture an image. With my right hand, I press the shutter and change the settings as needed, my left hand steadies the camera – keeping it stable and taking much of the weight. So my right hand can do what it needs to do, supported and unencumbered. Each hand has a different role, they can exist independently of the other but after many hours of training and practice they work best TOGETHER. I can create either a beautiful image, or something that is ‘off’. Depending on how I use both hands together, with their separate strengths and abilities. I love the movement between the two, the co-operation of the one with the other to get the job done and to adjust to the flow of the other.

Just like how I think of my marriage. Mike is often the stable one, and I am the changer, both in mood and action. I am the one that often does the evaluating, checking our ‘love meter readings’, adjusting, reevaluating, making things happen, noticing, and creating. I think we are socialized in to it. However, I think we move within each role interchangeably, some times we spend time as the changer, and sometimes as the stabilizer. Neither one without the other. Neither one greater than the other. We roll along to this formula when it’s bright and sunny, but as the light becomes less, as things get a little darker…. it’s harder to keep things in focus.  In photography a tripod keeps things very stable. And when you camera is stable, your images are clearer and sharper. You can take a tripod with you everywhere you go, if you remember it and don’t leave it sitting in your closet wishing you had it with you. A tripod can be used in either -glorious sunlight or in moody night light, but it’s MOST helpful when the light is low, when things are turning dark.

In marriage, we also have a stabilizing firm foundation we can take with us wherever we go. In a Christ centered marriage, Christ/God is our tripod, our firm foundation, our stabilizer. When Christ is our foundation, we, as marriage partners  have the opportunity to make magnificent images, sharp and clear whether things are bright and sunny… or dark and stormy . If we remember to action the power of his love, the atonement and the gifts of forgiveness and prayer. If your marriage is a little fuzzy, out of focus… or not seeing the beautiful things around you, might I suggest adding in Christ as your tripod?

1 Corinthians 11.11 ‘Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.’

I am on a journey with some 8 other photographers from around the country. Each month we take a passage of scripture and represent it photographically in an individually significant way. We are of different faiths. We are learning and growing individually and collectively in this project and invite you to join with us in doing so. Please click the link to follow through the circle starting with my friend Sarah, for her February edition. You can read it HERE

this is an image I took last month in preparation for my thoughts on marriage… and now I kind of feel the need to change it… and I just may.

Last night I was given a link to Mark Gunger – a marriage expert and comedian as far as I can tell. He presents marriage seminars in such a real and humourous way that I feel  quite smitten with his views. He has left a lasting impression, as has his words. Words I wish I heard more often from the leaders I look to for guidance. I like what he has to say A LOT. check him out on youtube. or his website is laugh your way to a better marriage click HERE